I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
