There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
