I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
