Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
