My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
