Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
