You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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