i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
