She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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