3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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