why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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