12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
