trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
