Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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