was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Text me some of your sweat
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize