I have demons in me.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
he's gonorrhea incarnate
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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