i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
