I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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