Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
This baby is an asshole
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
