My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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