Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
