And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
