So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
