Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
