i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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