the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
