Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize