when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Me too!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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