there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
