Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
