Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
