This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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