who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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