We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
