You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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