apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
can u get pink eye on your cock?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
