If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
