Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Boobs are out for the taking
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I think people are normalizing furries
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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