Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
