I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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