I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
