He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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