Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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