i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Randomize
