the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize