3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
