Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
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