I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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