I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
