Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
