i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
