PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
