How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
