You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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