It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
