He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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