you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
