i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
