i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
