i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize