Is it normal to miss your booty call?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
