Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
