ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
