So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
