wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
