found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
