but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
