I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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