She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
