You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
this will be a night to untag.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize