Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
