i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
