Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I AM VODKA MAN
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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