So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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