google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
