Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
