There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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